It has recently come to my attention that we live in a country where we get to choose our leader. I find such an idea radical and unsafe, and advise my fellow man to vote against it.
What can we expect? The Dear Leader Gordon Brown coming back to lead the country into what would almost be a single-party state? Market man David Cameron cutting expenditure and the balls off the working man? Filthy liberal Nick Clegg killing every child under the age of two due to a lack of religion that makes him know right from wrong? A hung parliament?
My money’s on a hung parliament, as with most, based on the evidence. Personally I’m neutral (but with bias for the TomRed-Peter Fascist Party), not because I want to be impartial to my readers, but because I believe I’m too ignorant to make a choice. This election does appear to be different from the others, I mean, the liberals might have a sniff of what it’s like to have governmental influence, and it could well be a hung for the first time in about 36 years.
As for my party, fear not the reason why we’re not running. Democracy is an inferior method of attaining power.
As some of you may know, I’m interested in longevity. I’m not too bothered about my personal lifespan, though it does prevail in my daydreamt thoughts time to time. I use Wikipedia as my guide to keep an eye on current supercentenarians (i.e. anyone above 110), especially Walter Breuning, the world’s oldest man. Kama Chinen, who I’ve monitored once in a while for some time now died yesterday, aged 114. So what? She was 114 (a few days away from 115 as a matter of fact), why should anyone care? Well, it’s not so much the person themselves I care about (except from Walter Breuning), it’s the fact that we’re losing years of the nineteenth century faster than we’re gaining years of this crappy century. I don’t know about you, but I like to live in a world where I can still say “there’s someone alive that was born in 18XX”. Anyway, 1895 is gone and we’re on 1896 now, and I will be pissed when this one goes too. I’m talking in terms of the verified though as there are a few disputed claims, but whatever. That’s that, but did you know that the world’s longest recorded lived organism was 250 million years old?
So I got HeartGold like a week or so ago when I found out I could put more shit in my bag for the plane. Plane? Yeah, I went Ireland for four days; it wasn’t exactly abroad but was probably the best holiday I ever had (if you’re friends with a girl, they have friends that are girls, remember that). Anyway, I haven’t even got my fourth badge yet because I was busy there and I’m busy here, but from what I’ve played I can’t complain. I suppose one criticism would be cynicism at the Pokémon Company for capitalising on a highly successful game by brushing it up and re-releasing it. However, the game was good, as with all of them, and for once I think I’m experienced enough to say my view (I’ve had Red, Gold, Silver, Ruby, FireRed, Emerald, Pearl, the two Pinballs and of course HeartGold). I suppose I enjoy the originals more but if you strip the sentimental significance then I’m not sure, but let’s see the details. So the aesthetics are great for one, slightly better than Diamond/Pearl/Platinum. There is the inclusion of the God knows how many other Pokémon, quite annoying if you’re keen on the game and don’t believe in cheat cartridges (and obviously the compatibility with all Pokémon games from the past 7 years or so). There are changes here and there to the story, something which doesn’t really bother me, however, the fact that the music is all advanced does bother me (more this, and less this please). Also, people hype about your Pokémon following you like in Yellow, but I don’t really care about that. What can I say? If 200 hours of your childhood was invested in G/S/C like moi then get it in your quest to re-experience your childhood, and recall the addictiveness that will yank your grades down. Finally, if you want to see proper reviews, try my friend’s GameInfoDaily blog.
Imagine the thought of saving a life, you’d be likely to experience the sort of genuine lasting happiness that only altruism offers. Imagine saving a baby’s life, that might make you feel even more satisfied. Now, multiply that by two million. James Harrison, an Australian, has a rare antibody that prevents babies from dying of Rhesus disease, and has been donating blood for 56 years to save the lives of over two million babies. This is the sort of hero that is worthy of a Nobel Prize. Click here for the original article. This reminds me of Freakonomics where it discusses incentives and mentions blood donation. In the US you get paid for donating blood while across the pond in the UK you are expected to feel good (and drowsy). Funnily enough, the ‘warm feeling’ the UK has to offer beats the cold hard cash the yanks throw at you, as the statistics have shown that the UK gets more donations (probably per capita). Personally, I’ve been wanting to donate blood (I believe the minimum age is seventeen, so just under a month to go).
As you may know, I am (unfortunately) a member of Facebook. It has brought me an addiction no drug will ever bring, destroyed friendships with primary school peers, and a stalking record that will probably come back to haunt me… One of the reasons why I’m probably going to die young is the fury that we have the right to freedom of speech (unless it insults Islam) when I see certain Pages that are breathing and growing. So, I’ll set up a constitution that hopefully will be upheld and employed with an iron fist…
1. Groups exist for a reason.
In the good old days of Facebook, when ‘men were men, women were men, and children were the FBI’, you had Groups for virtually anything and Pages for products and shit, hell, there was even a 200 group limit to prevent you from going crazy. I think I know why these people moved to Pages when they were inventing the name for the characteristic or action or any general point of agreement that we all share, which leads to my second point.
2. Statuses are for friends and for myself trying to be funny.
These Pages show a point of agreement, usually in the form of a sentence; sentences concerning a point of agreement are not looking forward to Christmas, they do not express empathy for Elton John, they are fucking sentences. But it isn’t even just that, ergo my next point.
3. This isn’t an election, stop caring about members.
As soon as I see that the Page was merely a cover up for the author’s desire to gain members, probably to start a Satanic cult, I just bask in cynicism. Cross that with the statuses and you have something more annoying than my voice with a hint of helium. This is made more obvious when the beginning words of the title is ‘join if’.
4. You’re ≠ your, go to primary school.
Jesus H. Blaspheming Christ, would it kill to wipe the dust off your comma key? Or complement your ‘sentence’ with a few fucking vowels? I mean, everyone makes a typo, which is why I have a Firefox spellchecker. I wish that paper clip Office Assistant would torture you the way it did to me when I had a Windows ME, and stretch itself out and stab you in the eyes.
Well, I’m glad to get that off my chest. Mind you, there are some good pages, but finding one is almost as challenging as finding me a ladyfriend by Valentine’s.
Oi, you. That’s right, I’m talking to you. Get your hands out of your trousers and do something remotely altruistic. I’ve been commanded to share this link for you to vote for this One Soap idea generated by people in my school to improve sanitation in Malawi. Login and vote, or I’ll have to shove more moral blackmail down your throat.
For all the Mac users out there that can relate to this:
Then, thanks to the kindness of a certain Mr Rodgers, there is a program that can disable your internet for a time up to 8 hours unless you restart, called Freedom. It has been seemingly helpful for me, nevertheless I still make silly mistakes in my homework:
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy—ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness—that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what—at last—I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.
These words are from a man, a great man, who entered this earth, along with our hearts, for a brief period. It has been forty years ago today since his departing. Some say the Jews killed him, I say the Welsh killed him, but what is known is that he died for our sins (at the mere age of 97). People screamed, people cried, knowing that he had died, knowing that there was nothing they could do. To this day we try to hide our despair, but it is futile.
He has left us an 86 year old daughter, some old interviews, and the sum of wisdom. Someday, hopefully, he will return to earth and destroy those who challenge pacifism. I will leave you with this, and go mourn in private:
And to emphasise:
Yes, a few days ago Apple released its highly speculated iPad. I’m going to drop my thoughts like I’m entitled to review it (then again, I’m typing this on my MacBook and my iPod Nano is to the left of me). Put it this way, I’m not buying it. Well, putting aside the fact that I am not loaded and don’t really need it, I just don’t think it has much of a purpose. Apart from the size, is it actually different from an iPod Touch? If it can’t multitask then you can’t compare it to a computer, that’s like comparing a man to a woman. For fuck’s sake, my Nano can even play music and play a game at the same time.
This problem with Apple has occurred in the past, remember the MacBook Air? It’s like being married to a supermodel. Sure, it’s thin and beautiful, but that’s where the features end; it can’t do your day-to-day tasks like cook and clean.
My verdict: get one if you’re a filthy rich Apple fanboy, or give that £500 or so to the poor.
That’s actually a Touch, Steve Jobs has just shrunk.
I’m not a film reviewer or anything, and my opinion is generally contingent on others’, but in short, I liked it. The special effects were amazing (complemented by seeing the 3D version, and I think that was my first 3D film), the story wasn’t bad, and I liked how the theme focused on alien invasion with the fact that humans were the invaders, as the presentation showed it to be feasible. I’m not surprised as Jim Cameron directed Terminator 2, so he’s up there… (By the way, who else got a Matrix feel from it?)
It doesn’t really differ from the trailer:
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